As I dive in to just the second entry, I wonder to myself…is anyone else out there feeling a bit helpless, or anxious about their parents getting older and needing them more and more for daily living? Surely, I am not alone in this feeling. I know my brother, sister, nephew and my family all feel the strain of what this does for our normal life. But I wouldn’t want it any other way, would you? Well maybe!
The three of us grew up on a farm, raising sheep, pigs, and cows. This meant we were often consumed by making hay on our summer breaks. That also meant, holidays didn’t start until Daddy was home. Our mother didn’t do much at all for the farm. My Dad worked 15-20 hour days at times, only getting a nap in the tractor, before continuing his work. It takes a lot to run a farm, and we all learned what hard work meant!
As Mom and Dad both have reached their 70’s, this has meant more challenges. Oh, I think it is time I tell you, they got divorced in my freshman year of college. Mom is remarried and Dad lives with his long-time girlfriend who is basically his common law wife. The difficulties are more with Dad, as his failing health has him unable to perform the duties of a farmer. So, it falls on someone else…us.
I don’t say that negatively. I proudly will help the man that spent so many years being what everyone wants in a Dad. It just puts a wrench in everyday life. My husband and I go out when he gets home from work to feed the 70+ cows that are still on the farm. We live 20 minutes from the farm. And we are around the Michigan / Indiana border. It is cold, downright frigid lately, but we make it out to do what we have to do.
What wrench does it put in my day? Dinner is later and often less than stellar and we have less time with the kids at night after school. Ryan (hubby) has to go-go-go all the time with his busy schedule and it puts a strain on him doing my Dad’s chores. My nephew and brother also help with chores, so this isn’t every day. But this week seems to be all ours because my brother and my nephew are telling me they are too busy. Therefore, it’s on me.
Put it on me, give it all to me. I can take it. I can balance and juggle and struggle and win. I will do this and I will keep smiling. Because my father is not going to be around forever. And this time, helping him and doing what he wishes he could so badly to do, is what I can do to help him get through this hard time. Until the end, I will be his rock. I will do his work. I will be his right hand. As long as I have him! Because I am your daughter and I love you Dad!